10.) Not only do I have mp3 capability, I’ve just installed voice-activated pants.

9.) Demo CDs make a delicious alternative to crackers when serving tasty hors d’oeuvres and canapes.

8.) Past job experience includes former voice and diction coach for George W. Bush.

7.) If unable to locate by cell phone, you can most likely track me down with giant BAT-MAN sky light.

6.) John Badila and Paul Anthony are probably booked.

5.) Simple: I flub a word, I cut off a toe.

4.) Little known Union rule change allows producers to pay all overtime in McNuggets. 

3.) It’s either this or it’s back to my job running FEMA.

2.) I am familiar with almost the entire alphabet.

1.) Can perform upwards of thirty voices...only five of which continue to live in my head.